The Other Side

The beauty encircled in dark circles of life, of saddened historical pasts, melting of platinum platters on ghost rings and perpendicular crosses… a joy on subminimal verses – dive!!!

Another kiss in vain!!!

Weighed and oppressed like a tiny spec of dirt propelled into atmospherical grime, i see madness and i see chaos… i see anger on subminimal verses – dive!!!

Another kiss in vain!!!

Now hush baby, hush, no more drops of crystal, i see hope and i see stars and adopted memoirs of happiness… sadness on subminimal verses – dive!!!

Another kiss in vain!!!

Another kiss in vain
another one drowned into the madness
of insecure dreams of virtuality…

Dive!!!

Another kiss in vain!!!

One will always wonder if there is something called destiny, some already believe in it, frankly speaking i dont believe in even 1% of it, I HAVE STOPPED!!! In a time where everything and every one is so materialistic, i wonder why do i live the lifestyle i have started living? why do i live a life of gratitude, peace, and every
other emotion and belief in those lines… not that i am some type of saint that the last line so defines but… why???

Sometimes i think there is some kind of extra-terrestial force (read as god) weighing one’s pros and cons on a weigh machine, and at times i don’t… wierd isn’t it??? Well for some it maybe and for some it may not be. Its like this time i wrote a journal on “perceptions”, this piece to me is more or less on the same grounds but on a different level, a different plain, a different valley, a different plateau. I may be contradicting myself here, given the fact that you have read “perceptions” and my views oppressed in that journal, and guess what – maybe i am… Dope tends to do that to you!!! One of the prime reasons i prefer the nacrottically free dimensional world that surrounds me now, and the world i find myself picking up the pieces in.

The bubbles that spring to life in a beer, are something to be inspired by, the same way you spring to life when you get a second chance, the idea is to grab it with both hands and gulp it down!!! Life for me has become a haze of sobriety to a certain extent, atleast its better than comparing life with a damn JOINT!!! Nothingness, unhappiness and everything in those lines has surrounded me in the past, now when i look back at the times i wished it away, i can difininately say that i was kidding myself, cause it is for those times, that i have grown as a person, i guess it was all for the betterment of matters and my state of life in general.

A loud round of appreciation goes out to the people who made my life a living hell, for all the people who stood by me in times when i needed a shoulder, for all the people who didn’t really give a damn bout’ me and lastly for the people who gave me a second chance…THANK YOU!!!

I guess life is just one rollercoaster ride, it goes up and then straight down, and then from down to straight up!!! Life a circular force, that we all hang on to, even though the price for it goes up by the days that pass!!! I too like every one else (finally) hangs on.

Theirs a grey horse standing by the mountain top
blue horizions hide behind her
On the frontier she stands out
theres a sadness in her eyes…
theres a joy in her voice as i walk up to her…

…she’s the last of a dying breed,
there’s no use trying to chain her down
… she my last rebel…
she gotta carry on…
…she my last rebel…
on the road…
…she my last rebel!!!

Broken hearted love dwell’s in my backyard
gotta find answers before i lose my mind
incubated by a memoir…

… i ask…

…does your conscience bother you
does it really???
or do you like being called insane???
my conscience bothers me!!!

I smash my bourbon bottle against the wall
the devil in the bottle grew into me
incubated by you…

… i ask…

…does your conscience bother you
does it really???
or do you like being called insane???
my conscience bothers me!!!

Now, have you ever heard me screaming
the pain’s unbearable now
…too many lives and too much money
on the line now honey…

Weighed and oppressed like a fucking nightmare
Weighed and oppressed like a fucking nightmare…

Well now i stand here to ask you…

…does your conscience bother you
does it really???
or do you like being called insane…

… cause my fucking conscience bothers me
oh yeah; i’m weighed and oppressed…
..like the nightmare we lived!!!

Through these fields of blue tops to the green layers, Through these breezy covers and thru’ these many different worlds, i see many signs, though we’re living in different worlds… i just hope for the sun sets back in the east…

..now as i bid you farewell, with my head on your shoulder… i pivot my head on the side of your neck, looking up – I whisper those unthinkable words…

Oh! she don’t know she’s the most beautiful person in my sad world, she don’t know me either… yet i speak of something unthinkable…

..now as i bid you farewell, with my head on your shoulder… i pivot my head on the side of your neck, looking up – I whisper those unthinkable words…

…walking thru’ blue topped fields of reflected sun rays…!!!

I spent a decade dreaming wild…
lost in fizzy concoctions and white cerums in blue shades of light
pick up’s made up of mona lisa smiles
and heaven’s hostilities…

People wore ‘a fuck’ on their words,
i was chewing white biscuits
singing cocaine lullabies
and putting down drunken verses
I’m tired of the truth. I’m tired of the lies.

Slide it under the carpet
nobody saw it
ugliness in bloom
in acts of sin i knelt.

Inflateable stairs
pain in the midst
of pleasures and happiness
slide it under the carpet.

Everyone is a nobody to that somebody, its really unfair. Somebody is a nobody to everyone… i guess its fair… i guess its unfair…

Dwelling in somebody…its just a pretty disgrace!!!

…I’m just seriously too tired of the truth and I’m just too tired of the lies for sure.

The mirror cracked today…

*…smashed at my feet*

… my knees gave way…

*..deep inhales afters exhales*

The mirror cracked today… i hate you and i hate me for you… i hate him for you and i hate me for him…

*…pull the damn push…*

The sweetest dreams of you in the stars… i’m tossing the elephant up the stairs… i’m breaking thru’ the skies… i’m crashing from the stage i set for myself…

The damn mirror cracked… and i’m picking up the remains… like flowers being plucked for the bride… i’m looking for groom… he went missing while i pushed the elephant up the inflatable steps…

…damn kid pierced it with his sarcastic rants… oceans of flowers make my bed… just too bad for the thorns…

…The mirror cracked today… i hate you and i hate me for you… i hate him for you and i hate me for him…

…now the remains seem to be me… i cut myself picking myself up…

*wondering who’s gonna be my band-aid*

…within the remains… my complexion…my reflection… and my protection… it rains down on me…

…for the mirror cracked today!!!

Save me from myself… save me from the fucking nobody i have become… from the nobody i was… save me from myself!!!

I stood my ground, staring down at the world from above for the strength you bestowed my soul with… now in shattered reflections i stand a NOBODY all over again!!!

I’m the broken mirror by the base of the table, i’m the shattered image in the remains, i’m the nobody to the SOMEBODY… now save me from myself!!!

Tears of confusion, tears of agony and despair… stain the sides of my face… broken porcelain platters of insomnia… frequency of kill Sam KILL… save me from the FUCKING NOBODY i’ve become!!!

Uncarved musings on canvas sheets wrapped around my heart, shackles of fear and guilt and everything in between round’ my ankles…

GOD DAMN IT!!! Save me!!! Will you??? I don’t want any one else to save me… i cant do it myself cause i have to…

..SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!!!

Save me from myself… save me from the fucking nobody i have become… from the nobody i was… save me from myself!!!

He wanted to be like his favourite icon, with his past, and his long long hair and the women and the wine… et al. He hung out like a ciggarette…

…he wanted to be like ME.

His words were mine off the reflection of the wall, his life was my shadow… against the wind and tides he rode, he fucked up a milion times…

…but i guess it was okay…

…he was being ME…!!!

So i sang him a song…

…Today i wanna be the air you breathe, lets play twist and lets play you… lets play this stupid game called life!!!

…i feel so cute today, had a fight with everyone i know…been goofing around all my life… playing your stupid game!!!

…i feel so metal today, got up with a boner… been dreaming of sucess all my life, last night was nothin’ different… i like playing your stupid game!!!

My words were his off the reflection of the wall, my life was his shadow… against the wind and tides i rode, i fucked up a milion times…

…but i guess it was okay…

…we were being US…!!!

Today as i sit in my room on reverb mode… i figured some one in my life… a lady in my life needs that special treatment… those three dots of fame on my wasteland… those lines…

…This one’s to my mother… for being the mother she is… for not being the mother i wanted at times (we’ve all gone thru’ that one…)… for standing up for me when i needed her to… for not standing up for me when i needed her… for everything good or bloody bad man… oh not to forget for putting up with a psycho-path (in me) for 23 years man…

This one’s for you… if you ever come across it… (P:S: i know you do read my blog!!)

You rarely spoke of your start in life
or the years you’d worked to overcome sadness
and all we saw was the smile in your eyes
too smug and self-righteous to ever realize…
your tenderness, fragility…

… a dream on the wind…
…this is to you… with all the respect!!!

When the love of your life loved someone/thing else
turned your joy into a version of hell…
…you sought your comfort in consoling us…
all we saw was the smile in your eyes
too smug and self-righteous to ever realize…
your tenderness, fragility…

… for the life you’ve given us(speaking from all three of our sides)

I still will and do not agree with all you say… maybe thats me… but i know if and when i do get myself into shit… YOU WILL BE THERE TO KICK MY ARSE BACK IN PLACE…

P:S: See there is always some good in my writings…