Archive for July, 2007

Saliva Girl!!!

I don’t want to come down from this cloud of fire that I’m on, there is no hurricanes in the air tonight baby… Theres no hurricanes…

…so you gotta’ break my fall
when i come crashing down,
saliva tales converted to love & hate
we should’ve just got a room…

so you gotta break my fall
when he comes to get me…

Oh yeah… Saliva tales…

…and the song went…

I dont wanna be your saliva tale
licking and flicking
i dont want it to be bout love n hate
i dont wanna be your saliva tale…

Destinations all across
i’m coming to get you…

Now you wanna get all dirty…
love it honey when you’re all slutty…

Destinations all across
i’m coming to get you…

I dont wanna be your saliva tale
licking and flicking
i dont want it to be bout love n hate
i dont wanna be your saliva tale…

I dont wanna be your saliva tale
licking and flicking
i dont want it to be bout love n hate
i dont wanna be your saliva tale…

Drama Queen

Mother…

Father…

He said; She said;…

This one’s dedicated to the queen of the stage…

…behind the neon lightsand the smoked filled horizons, she moved with the guile of a saucerer, victimising every eye she caught… strange being a star in your own virtue…

Off-stage she was this little girl, who built a wall with all the emotions she had pent up inside, scarring obsolete phases away with ole’ Mr. Bricks… she was a star to him… she could stare at him for hours just to see the real her reflecting in him…

…she loved him…but somehow it felt like staring at the wall… a blank emotionless face…

Oh!!! Mr. Bricks!!! Look what you’ve done…oh look what you’ve done…

Mother…

Father…

He said; She said;…

Oh!!! Mr. Bricks!!! Look what you’ve done.. oh look what you’ve done…

…look what you’ve done to the drama queen!!!

Freedom, Luxury and Illusions

The other day on tour, an old friend(the only way of meeting em’) said to me; You will never find luxury and freedom at the same place at the same moment… i tripped on it, or rather have been tripping on those particular words since advent of them from her mouth/mind/heart(dont quite know), and after a couple of sleepless nights i came up with this explaination/questions/suggestions/rantings…

How can luxury be defined? what is luxury? What makes it tick? And likewise, what is freedom? How can it described? What makes it tick? But the most important question is do they both exist? And an even bigger question – Do we ourselves exist for luxury and freedom to even be a materialistic thing?

Luxury – A materialistic indulgence of sorts, luxury is this phase in life where you have everything and still want more, which is practically every moment of your “life-span”…

Freedom – Afrank immunity of sorts, Freedom is nothing but an illusion, a make belief world where you think you have an exemption to do something/someone, without thinking…without blinking an eye???

Lets suppose you end up sleeping for 12 hours, does that mean you had the freedom for 8 hours, or is it a need and the other four hours can that be termed as a luxury??? I wonder how is it possible, because according to a personal opinion, you do not even exist, the world around you is make belief, so is the trees and the machines and the sun and the… everything is just an illusion.

I personally don’t think we even come out of our mothers womb, we are just here.. there… but if that is the case – are we unconcious or is it that we are concious between two phases of unconciousness? or is that we unconcious between two phases of conciousness? or is that we are never between two paths, two phases, then the question arises are we real, or are we not real? Are we reading this at this point of time/ or am i writing this at this moment of time, is it just an illusion that makes us think we doing what we are doing at a particular time at a particular moment??

However, if we dont exist or even if we do exist, the question arises are we born free? or are we born as a luxury? If you think on grounds of “reality”, which by the way is just a mere word in the dictionary and is believed by a million million people over the world, freedom will exist only if theres luxury, and vice versa… so the whole point of luxury and freedom being present at one point of time never really exists, though as a consolation to my friend here, its never at even proportion!!!

Now i feel the urge of freedom to end this trip of luxury… so think about it!!! i just made an illusion come true!!!

Manupilation

Manupilation – A day without the blood, sweat, tears, and the likes… seems hidden in a far away land, seen rotting away admist of all the prettiness that is nothing but in surround mode…

Dirt, I once said; blossommed into a rose, don’t quite know what I was thinking, perhaps it was love then, perhaps alcohol, which ever way, it was a toxin… a sedative and a high…

Consolidated cream reversed into milk, and spilt on full cylinders, emotions being pushed deep inside to give way for a new individual, for a new coming of humanity in a different mode, welcome lost ones, come back to me… welcome wipe your feet when you leave…

Positiveness, negativity and everything in between, I wonder where I lie at times, I wonder; am I making choices? or am I making mistakes? or am I just making the wrong decisions… mind you they’re all totally different…

Just like faith blends into hope which in turn mixes together and flows into expectations, I mix with the nothings of life and it flows into every flaw of life that comes my way, I’m still wondering why i came into being…

Was I wanted? Was my existence really wanted? Was I supposed to come down to this planet? Was i supposed to be the type of person I am today? Was i supposed to pent up everything that came my way? Was i supposed to… questions left unanswered just like the things left incomplete i set myself out to do, however, now I wonder what exactly am i here for???

Relationships – a tale of cryptic writings, only the canvas is your brain, the artist your loved one and his/her paint is nothing but your blood…sweat…and tears!!!

Think about what i just said, it may just make sense and if it doesn’t take me to the land your manipulating.

Lines for the dumb-fucks

The city slowed down as I pumped ironic chemicals into my veins, caught myself a million times in a space between my ‘hang-ups’ and obsoleteness, I drowned myself in my own wallowing… I wished it was the canned heat in my heels!!!

Rays of twilight made my day, and the dark of the night stole my days, sinking into an egoistic copulation of blame games with my own retardation, tales of silly escapes crept into my being leaving me in nothin’ but a trap!!! I just wished it was the canned heat in my heels!!!

Lines of lies… lines of truth… they all looked the fuckin’ same… and felt like bittersweet confessions…

i just wished…

Flyover…

I Found this lying hidden away somewhere, somewhere in the midst of coke trips,betrayals,love,loss and what not… and now as i look back it… it was one fucked up trip – Other than the writings!!!

Read on…

Its been what? almost two months of snortin’ off and on(almost twice a week)… for some ‘magic’(as the person who gets for me calls it) is a party drug… i say…. PEOPLE DON’T FUCKIN’ DO IT!!!

It started with one line just to get away from this shitty world and now its worked itself upto 2-3 lines once or twice a week… it does have its bads and does have its goods…

Firstly… the one real shitty thing man… is the mood swings…man it makes you feel what ur not supposesd to feel… for example the other day i was doin’ this shitty choreo thingie at like this inter parish thingie and for some reason(stupid reason) i was just gettin really irritated and jumpy(i was off it for a week and half… i had promised myself i wouldn’t do it)..and suddenly i just lost it… like TOTALLY!!!

I sniffed my line which i had for like a week and half as my emergency stash… and there i was all happy again… Even worse than that is the hallucinations… (my mum thinks i’m possessed)… now but seious thats funny!!! Oh not to forget the new record i set at work while on it… i made a record 18 sales in teh night broke the record of 15 which by the way stood for almost a year… *all smiles* lolz…

You know what i like bout the stuff?? It puts you in the perfect zone…like you’re not like totally smashed..youv’e like got this nice buzz to your self…like a nice numbing feeling… like I could control everything around me…

What i really hate bout the shit is that its fuckin’ expensive man… for the most part i get it free..otherwise i like shell out thousands for it… but then come to think of it i find it worth…”IT TAKES ME AWAY TO A NICE PLACE”.

Its like it gives me a general sense of owning the world… i’ll walk out when the lights go out… until then i’m the ‘happy’ person!!!

Fuck… fuck fuck!!! What was i thinking???

Life = Grime (I wish)

Shes my dirty little board covered in grime, and as she swears by the moon and diminishes behind the stars… thru’ sifted masses on incinerated left overs in over flowing ashtrays… and as she slips her fingers into mine, innocence cries mellow screams of escapade tales…

…I tried telling her that we could swim across years, seat ourselves behind the sun, but only if I could tell her from fantasy… I wouldn’t be screaming tales of escapades myself… or run like the mascara with every wet tear of hers…

I wish i could tell the difference between the hesitancy of the princess on the horizons…

…you were right we don’t always get what we want in life!!!

Cheese-spread

Lets climb to the top, i said easy babe, i love you… i say your flattery is some sort of needless sympathy…

Sympathy – The harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons with similar tastes… i don’t want to taste any of you, who like river-lets flow out of me…

*ahhhhhrrrrgggghhhh*

*wish of a gripped pistol*

Now you say imagery is my perfect fucking symmetry and i’m filled with all the made up good…

so now here i am…

…trapped in a crescendo of moments
heading on in collisions with concrete
…lack-luster starry skies of a day dream that vanishes
to return the next second…

..and you say imagery is my perfect fucking symmetry and i’m filled with all the made up good…

Yeah Right!!!